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The nerve….  I’ve developed several of those in 2014.  Not in the physiological sense, but more so in the realm of enhanced confidence.  Growing up I had my battle with confidence, and my being skinny and donning both glasses and braces for most of my early years did not help matters.  But at some point in my late teen/early twenty-dom…confidence developed in such a way that I’ve been able to navigate through life mostly unscathed and in a manner in which I’m comfortable.  But recently things have changed, and I don’t know whether this change should be attributed to the new year or my turning the big 3-0.  Independent of the cause, there has been an increased drive in me to unapologetically pursue every dream and passion that God has placed in my heart.  Like….it’s so not a game.  To place this into context, I’ve traded my more luxurious car for a stick-shift beater that I taught myself to drive in a little over a week and have since moved into a home I’m renovating that’s maybe a step above being a former crack house* because both decisions will further propel me towards my endgame.  Needless to say, both decisions I consider to be sacrifices, and have garnered a bit of negative attention and critique from those closest to me.  Honestly, I completely understand their concerns…I do.  But fear of the unknowns and ‘what ifs’ are minimal in my perspective relative to the tremendous gains to be made.

Fear & Self Doubt: 

I’ve been reading a book recently entitled ‘Sun Stand Still’, and a line in the book really stood out to me.  The author wrote: ‘Time can talk you out of your dreams.  Routine can weaken your propensity towards audacity’.  I reflected upon those two sentences and realized that if I wasn’t careful, it would be easy for me to drift towards a life of mediocrity and predictability rather than one that was passion-filled and required an immense amount of faith through which to navigate.  That and I was finding myself becoming increasingly bored and unmotivated with where things were in my life.  I quickly assessed my situation and realized there were things within my power that I could change……but then I realized that those decisions might require some discomfort on my part.  And on top of that, what might people think?  Thankfully those doubtful thoughts lacked staying power, and I was able to move forward with a renewed albeit somewhat out there plan, and I can say that I’ve been enjoying the process.  It’s a little bit scary, yes.  But also incredibly exciting  and encouraging knowing that I’m being further propelled towards my purpose, and doing so in a way that requires that I have faith in a power greater than myself.  This process has also shown me that I’m a pretty audacious chick-a-dee!  That word has stuck with me, and will reflect my theme for the remainder of the year.  I plan to have an amazingly audacious year, one that is extremely bold and fearless, and will be using this blog to document my experiences (the ups and the downs) with completing projects and my ultimate pursuit of passion and purpose.  Who’s with me?

*more elaboration to come, stay tuned 😉